


The Most Devastating Semblance of All Time

by MorenoX25



Series: SuperBestRWBYcast. [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody, Spoof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 08:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8279666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorenoX25/pseuds/MorenoX25
Summary: Team RWBY have to write and essay for Oobleck's class about Semblances, so they have a "discussion" about which Semblance is in fact the most devastating of all time. Note: Crack-ish Humor





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Standuser64](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Standuser64/gifts).



> Crack fic based in a discussion in the SuperBestFriendCast episode 103: This Must be the Work of an Enemy Stand.

It had been a rather normal day at Beacon. The first years students were at the library doing research for an assignment for Professor Oobleck class. The assignment was an essay about the Semblances, backed with research detailing the Semblances of either famous Hunters of History or from Current Hunters they knew, and how effective and useful they were in the course of their careers.

The point for this assignment was for students to realize that how varied Semblances actually were and how Hunters from the Past and Present managed to do incredible things despite how simple or complex their abilities were. Of course to many the point flew over their heads, and most of the research and discussion was about which Hunter had the best Semblance and who else they could beat in a fight, which later devolved into what "Theoretical" Semblances could defeat them also.

Amongst the most "interesting" choices were the ones team RWBY decided to discuss.

"So I guess the discussion comes down to just two options for the most "theoretically" devastating Semblance of all time." Ruby summarized looking at the rest of her team.

"So which one is more devastating?" Yang posed the question. "The Semblance that makes your opponent have to dump ass all the time, that upset your stomach and makes you soil your pants..."

"Or...?" Weiss urged the blond to get it over with, because they had a essay to write and she wanted to be over before they closed the library.

"The semblance that gives the opponent a brain freeze." Yang continued.

"That doesn't end." Ruby clarified, so that there could be no misunderstanding.

"So Ruby, you are of the opinion that Brain Freeze Semblance is much more powerful." Weiss stated making the young leader nod.

"I think Brain Freeze is stronger too." Blake added siding with Ruby in this matter.

"That's crazy." said the Heiress of all people.

"But you can't do anything when you have a brain freeze." The cat faunus pointed out, knowing no one could deny this fact. Everyone has suffered from brain freeze in one point in their lives and how painful it could become.

"The way I see it," Yang butt in. "Not only can you make your opponent crap their pants until they are dehydrated. But the other hunter will be so embarrassed that they will never be able to defeat that Semblance."

"Not only that, but a Semblance that can make you soil your pants is so much powerful because they will erase any other hunter from History because no one wants to remembered losing because of their dirty undergarments." Weiss explained in favor of the disgusting Semblance.

"No one wants that." Yang said for emphasis in support of the heiress' point.

"So the Semblance would activate and the opponent would ask to be removed from history entirely." As if they had never existed at all.

"How does one fight that Semblance?" Ruby asked.

"So the only way to defeat a Hunter with that Semblance would be a "shitty" side character, that has no shame." Yes even in a "serious" discussion Yang would sneak up a pun much to everyone's chagrin.

"Because the "Pants Shitting" Semblance, as Yang dubbed it, is powered by one's own shame over being seen crapping their pants." Weiss finished her point making Ruby laugh, yet she wasn't swaying towards their side.

"But the physical consequence of shitting one's pants doesn't affect that much to prevent someone to fight back." Ruby reasoned; while with Brain Freeze the opponent would be in so much hurt they wouldn't be able to fight back at all.

"Yes but it would be very embarrassing." The white haired girl answered making Ruby chuckle.

"Remember that once the Semblance has a lock on you, you can't escape because it is powered by one's shame, so when you feel shame for shitting your pants, you shit even harder." Yang made them recall. "So that shitty side character has no shame..."

"A disgusting person that doesn't care."

"Not only does he not feel shame." the blond continued not minding Weiss mid interruption. "He will be like: 'I showed up with my pants full'."

"Like Professor Port who's an old man that could soil his pants all the time." Not only that, he would loudly proclaim his prowess and tell the story in class with no hint of shame whatsoever.

"So that means no great hero could ever defeat a hunter with this Semblance." Ruby reasoned, seeing how it could be considered a huge advantage over those who could never withstand be seen crapping their pants in public. "So the only way to not get affected is to leave the area where it can affect you."

"But because it is not a Semblance with High Destructive Capabilities, the range would be almost a mile!" Weiss was exaggerating of course, no Semblance had that sort of long range, but the idea still stood. Even with 50 meters range it would still be devastating. "This Semblance will work perfectly with a high-caliber long range weapon, because when you are about to shoot you can hit them with the pants shitting making your opponent unable to move out of the way."

"I believe Ms. Goodwitch could defeat this theoretical hunter." Blake who had remained mostly silent this whole conversation, mostly trying to contain herself from laughing out-loud, declared soundly.

"With her Telekinesis? How?" Ruby asked what was in everyone's mind. Sure it was a very useful ability with very long range, but it needed concentration which could be broken if she had to crap her pants in the middle of battle.

"Yes she could use her Telekinesis to hold her bowels in place." Blake explained making RWY laugh hysterically at the mental image.

"S-She reaches d-eep into her g-uts..." Yang tried to say but her laughter wouldn't allow her to continue.

Thankfully there was Weiss who tried her sentence for her, "And then g-grips her colon..." but she also gave into the laughter.

"That's the only way to stop it from moving." Blake said much more composed than the rest of her team.

"She's all stern faced...because she can't move." Yang said between chuckles now a little more composed.

"What would that semblance be called?" Ruby asked, knowing most Semblances had a name, and they needed one besides Pants Shitting Semblance.

"Brown Note." Weiss was the first one to came up with a name, making everyone nod in agreement.

"I think we all agree then." Yang crossed her arms with a smirk.

"Yep, now we just have to write our essay!"

Surprising to say, Oobleck gave them an A+ in the assignment since it was well written and very well researched. Still he had to give team RWBY detention for the whole month.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish to thank the Super Best Friends for their Hilarious commentary in their podcast and LP's.
> 
> Also I wish to thank Hieropink from YT and his excellent mash-ups of TBFP and RWBY.
> 
> As for who is who:
> 
> Ruby = Matt
> 
> Weiss = Pat
> 
> Yang = Woolie
> 
> Blake = Liam


End file.
